Pick Up the Pieces
by ladyhawk89
Summary: Usagi and Mamoru finally have to stop and decide whether or not to move forward.


**_I'm so sorry! I was in a rush when I posted this the first time, and I uploaded the wrong file. _This_ is the whole story._**

_Stay away from Princess Serenity, or she will die!_

Usagi bolted upright, nearly knocking her table over in the process. The nightmare had seemed so real, she could almost feel the pain of the explosion that had ripped her away from Mamoru. A fine sheen of sweat glistened on her forehead as she tried to catch her breath. Usagi looked around her room, grounding herself in the reality of the carpet beneath her, the pink of her walls. Her eyes came to rest on a photograph of her and Mamoru on a picnic a few weeks earlier, and her breathing slowed a bit. Without really thinking, she reached out for the picture, feeling the familiar ache in her heart that reminded her of Mamoru's absence. As Usagi's fingers grazed the polished wooden frame, the glass cracked and the Usagi in the picture slumped forward ominously.

Usagi gasped and snatched her hand away. Her heart thudded in her chest and the warning from her dream echoed in her head. Realization dawned on her and she hoped that she was right as she grabbed her keys and ran out of her room. Luna and Chibi-usa moved aside as she barreled down the stairs.

"Where is she going?" Chibi-Usa asked Luna. Luna shrugged and continued her way up the stairs.

"She's probably late meeting the girls somewhere," Luna guessed. She jumped up on Usagi's bed and curled up into her favorite sleeping position, and watched with mild interest while Chibi-Usa poked around Usagi's things. The girl stopped at Usagi's work table and picked up the completed macramé bracelet that Usagi had been working on.

"She was making this for someone," Chibi-Usa said. Her eyes widened in realization. "She must have been going to give it to them, but she forgot it." Before Luna could react, Chibi-Usa shoved the bracelet into her pocket and took off out the room after Usagi. Luna called for her to stop, but the little girl was gone. Cursing the irrational logic of the six-year-old mind, Luna went after her.

-:- -:- -:- -:- -:-

Usagi skidded to a stop outside of Mamoru's apartment building and looked up towards his balcony uncertainly. If her assumption was wrong… Usagi shook her head and her determination renewed itself. Even if she was wrong, she decided, she deserved closure. She would not leave until he answered her questions. With that thought, Usagi squared her shoulders and ran up the five flights of stairs to Mamoru's apartment. The elevator would have taken too long. She stared at the door for a split second before she raised a fist and pummeled the door as if it had given her personal offense.

Mamoru opened the door with a scowl, but it slipped when he saw Usagi on the other side. He blinked a couple of times, and then scowled again.

"Are you crazy?" he asked her. "Do you realize what time it is?" Usagi returned his scowl with a dark look of her own and pushed past him into the sterile apartment.

"It's way past time for some answers. I realize that much," she said. "I need to ask you something, Mamo-ch…Mamoru-san." Mamoru flinched inwardly at the formal honorific, but he held his composure and shut the door. He leaned against the door and crossed his arms, determined not to let his emotional turmoil slip.

This is for Usako, he reminded himself. Her protection comes first.

Mamoru looked at Usagi indifferently while she gathered her thoughts. She fidgeted in an agitated way that Mamoru hadn't really seen in her before. She tugged at one of her long ponytails with one hand while the other tapped an irregular rhythm on her hip.

"I had a dream earlier tonight," she told him. "We were getting married and all of the sudden something tears me away and this voice comes from no where and tells you to stay away from me." Mamoru gasped and looked up at Usagi with wide eyes. She frowned and began pacing as she continued. "I was going to write the whole thing off as stress and eating too much ice cream, but then when I woke up a picture of us that I had on my dresser cracks and I just, like fall over. Mamoru, tell me the truth. Did you have that dream? Is that why you broke up with me?" Usagi stopped pacing and looked Mamoru in the eyes.

"I did," Mamoru said slowly. He knew needed to choose his next words carefully, but mostly he was flooded with a mixture of relief and dismay. Relief that Usagi realized that he was staying away from her to protect her, and dismay because he knew it would be that much harder to keep her away now that she knew. That was why what she did next took him completely by surprise.

Usagi stared at him for a few seconds her shoulders hunched and her arms wrapped around her body protectively. She walked towards Mamoru and reached out an arm. Mamoru was about to reach out for her, wanting to reassure her that he was still hopelessly in love with her, when he realized she was actually shoving him away.

"Move," she demanded, reaching for the door knob. She jerked the door open and stormed towards the stairs, leaving Mamoru gaping after her in confusion. Usagi had stormed down the hallway and flung the door to the stairs open and disappeared down the stairs before Mamoru's mind caught up with the situation.

"Usagi!" he called, running after her. He followed her down the stairs, but she was fast and she had a good head start. Usagi was on the first floor before he reached the third. Mamoru's heart pounded in his chest as he realized that _this_ was the critical moment that his relationship with Usagi hinged on. This moment and _not_ the moment when he decided to heed the dream's warning. That thought spurred Mamoru on as he raced through the front door only to come to a skidding halt. Usagi was still there, but she had a limp and panting Chibi-usa in her arms. She and Luna stared at something writhing on the ground.

-:- -:- -:- -:-

Usagi could hardly breathe for the fury and betrayal raging in her. She could literally feel her lungs constricting as she raced down the stairs. Mamoru was behind her. She could hear his footsteps and his frantic cries for her to stop, but she went all the faster. How could he not tell her, she thought. How could he keep such an important thing a secret? How could he make such an important decision by himself? If Mamoru really thought Usagi was so immature, why get involved in the first place? The only answer that Usagi could come up with was that he gave the relationship a shot because of a past that neither could remember that clearly and when it didn't turn out the way he wanted, he took the first out that he could find. Tears flooded Usagi's eyes and she tried push the overwhelming sadness to the back of her mind and focus on her anger. She refused to walk through the streets crying over Mamoru. Not again.

The cool night air was a welcome relief from the hot blood coursing through her veins. Usagi had no doubt that her face was as red as a tomato. She turned to go home, but a sudden movement by the curb stopped her.

"Usagi!" Chibi-usa said cheerfully, as she hopped onto her feet.

"Chibi-usa, what are you doing out this late alone?" Usagi asked, startled.

"She's not alone," Luna stepped out of the shadows and looked at Usagi nonchalantly. "She's as stubborn as you are when she gets an idea in her head." Chibi-usa rolled her eyes and reached into the pocket on her skirt.

"You forgot something. As usual." She pulled the bracelet out of her pocket and started to hand it to Usagi, but it wrapped around her hand and started crackling with something like black electricity. In an instant the electricity spread over her entire body and Chibi-usa started screaming in pain.

"Chibi-usa!" Usagi cried. She fell to her knees and tried to pry the bracelet off of her. "Luna, it's not coming off!" The cat gasped and leapt onto Chibi-usa's arm, clamping her teeth down on it. With one mighty tug, the bracelet was off of Chibi-usa's hand and on the ground. Chibi-usa slumped over and Usagi caught her before she hit the ground. Mamoru came out and skidded to a stop behind them.

"What happened?" Mamoru demanded. "Chibi-usa, are you alright?" The little girl looked up and nodded weakly.

"Yeah, I think so," she said. Usagi suddenly leapt to her feet.

"That's it!" she cried. Luna and Mamoru started but before either could ask what happened, she took off.

"Take care of Chibi-usa!" she called over her shoulder. Mamoru scooped Chibi-usa in his arms and took her back up to his apartment. Luna followed close at his heels.

"I'm going after Usagi," Mamoru said as he put Chibi-usa on the couch. "Luna, take care of her. Chibi-usa, don't leave this apartment?"

"Where are you going?" Chibi-usa asked. She climbed onto her knees and watched Mamoru over the back of the couch.

"I'm going after Usagi," he told them as he put on his coat. Luna nodded.

"I'll call the rest of the Senshi. You go!" Mamoru ran down the stairs, taking them several at a time. He felt Usagi transform and called his own transformation up mid-run. Tuxedo Kamen's superpowers flooded his veins, lending him extra speed. He followed his connection with Usagi to the roof of the school building.

The battle was already on between Sailor Moon and the youma; a female who seemed to be channeling an ancient Egyptian Magi. Tuxedo Kamen arrived just in time to throw a rose and stop and energy ring from hitting the superheroine.

"You are a pathetic wretch for taking advantage of something so innocent as promise rings and love bracelets. I, Tuxedo Kamen, will not forgive you." The youma snarled and sent her next attack at him.

"For you, then, a special gift," she said. "Isolation rings, to keep you separate from your one true love." Behind her, Usagi snorted to herself. _Well, _that_ ship has sailed_, she thought, preparing her next attack.

"Shine aqua illusion!" That was not it. The energy rings froze and fell out of the sky just in front of Tuxedo Kamen.

"Mercury, good you're here!" Sailor Moon sighed in relief.

"Got here as soon as I could," her friend said. Growling, the youma sent another attack at the heroines.

"Your friendship is touching, but you cannot withstand the power of my enemy rings!" Mercury and Moon, unprepared, ran from the attack.

"Is it just me, or do all her attacks have really lame names?" Sailor Moon commented as she dodged a ring.

"Fire soul bird!" The rings turned to ash as Mars came in to save her friends. "Sorry I'm late! I see you started the party without me!"

"How dare you!" the youma screamed. "Dodge five rings at once! Hatred rings, divide them!"

"Supreme thunder dragon!"

"Venus love me chain!" The rings were destroyed before they even made it near their marks and the youma suddenly found herself surrounded.

"Now Sailor Moon!" Tuxedo Kamen prompted. Sailor Moon glared at him.

"Thanks Tutorial Kamen. I didn't know what to do," she retorted. She pulled out her heart scepter and called her attack. "Moon princess halation!" The youma was reduced to dust and carried away on the wind, leaving behind a crystal figurine. A piercing laugh sliced through the air, and Emerald appeared, floating above them.

"Listen well, you pathetic little upstarts," she said. "Soon the Dark Gate will be opened and the Dark Moon kingdom will take over your miserable little planet. The Silver Crystal and the entire Earth will be ours. You are just fighting the inevitable."

"Yeah, big talk from someone who's monster just got spanked," Sailor Moon growled. Emerald just smirked and disappeared in a swirl of dark energy. The soldiers were silent for a moment as the weight of what Emerald said settled in. Tuxedo Kamen spoke first.

"Sailor Moon," he said gravely. She sighed in disgust and folded her arms.

"What?" she answered harshly. The rest of the Senshi raised their brows in surprise. Normally their love struck leader would be fawning over Tuxedo Kamen, hanging on his every word. Tuxedo Kamen flinched, but continued.

"We need protect both the present and future of the world, no matter how difficult it seems. We must overcome all obstacles and work together…"

"Save the lecture, please!" Sailor Moon cut in. She glared at Tuxedo Kamen angrily, her hands clenched in fists at her side. "You of all people aren't allowed to talk to me about working together or teamwork. In fact, you aren't allowed to talk to me period. I'm so sick of your stupid little pep talks. You really want to help? Stay away from me. Not that that's exactly been hard for you lately. I'm going home. Later girls." Sailor Moon walked away, dropping her transformation as she went. The Senshi stared after her in shock and turned back to Tuxedo Kamen.

"What was _that_ about?" Venus asked. Tuxedo Kamen didn't answer. With a swirl of his cape, he leapt from the roof, back towards his home, leaving four very confused girls behind him.

"Come on, it's late," Mercury said. "We can ask Usagi about it later."

-:- -:- -:- -:-

The girls watch Usagi carefully while she drummed her fingers on Rei's table listlessly. She was uncharacteristically silent and she hadn't touched the cookies that Makoto had brought. It had been nearly two weeks since she blew up at Tuxedo Kamen, and Usagi's friends still didn't know what had happened. She shut down whenever they asked her about it and they noticed that Usagi had become increasingly short tempered since that night. They wanted to ask Mamoru, but he seemed to be avoiding them. So they knew nothing except that Mamoru seemed to have further upset their friend and they weren't happy about it. Usagi fidgeted and sighed.

"Where are Luna and Artemis?" she asked, impatiently. "I want to get this meeting over with." Her friends looked at each other uncertainly.

"This isn't a Senshi meeting, Usagi," Makoto said. "Luna and Artemis aren't coming." Usagi's mouth pulled down into an incredulous frown.

"The what in the world am I doing here? I'm supposed to be helping my mom paint my room."

"We're worried about you, you moron!" Rei snapped back. "For the past two weeks you've been walking around moping and jumping down people's throats for no reason."

" Luna says you haven't been eating much either," Ami said. Minako nodded gravely.

"That alone is cause for concern." Usagi snorted irritably.

"Aren't you guys always the first ones saying that I eat too much?" She retorted. Usagi glared at them all for a moment, then reached across the table and shoved an entire sugar cookie into her mouth.

"Wrook, uh'm eafig," she said around a mouth full of cookie. "See? No problem. Will you get off my back now?" Usagi rose and picked her purse up off the floor, but Makoto grabbed her wrist.

"No we won't get off your back," she said fiercely. Makoto put an arm around Usagi's shoulders and her tone turned pleading. "Usagi, please talk to us. We're your best friends! It's killing us to see you like this. Tell us what's wrong." Usagi bit her lip and shook her head.

"I don't want to talk about it," she told them. Ami came up to her other side and put her arm around Usagi's waist.

"Usagi, sweetie, we realize you're hurting, but you need to deal with this," she said. Ami and Makoto gently guided Usagi to Rei's bed and sat her down. Usagi sighed and rubbed her eyes.

"What is this, an intervention?" she asked sarcastically.

"Well, yeah," Minako answered with a shrug. "I guess this is." Usagi sucked her teeth but didn't move to leave again.

"I'm fine," she insisted. "I'm dealing with the whole thing."

"Usagi, two months ago you were this cheerful, bubbly girl who loved everyone," Rei said. "You practically sneezed sunshine. But then we had to watch you go from this bundle of energy and fun to so depressed we worried you were suicidal and then to this angry, sarcastic…person who seems to hate everyone and everything. I can't even remember the last time I saw you smile." The other girls nodded in agreement. Usagi could feel the tears stinging at her eyes, but she looked down towards her lap and squeezed them shut.

"I promise it's nothing," she managed to say. "I've just had a lot on my mind lately with the whole Dark Moon thing and school and getting over that stupid youma flu." Minako put a comforting hand on Usagi's knee and looked up at her friend sadly.

"And dealing with Mamoru, too?" she encouraged.

"I don't want to talk about him," Usagi said shortly. She clenched her fist in her lap and pursed her lips. Her shoulders shook with the tension of keeping from crying.

"Usagi, look at yourself," Rei implored. "This isn't healthy, Usagi, and it isn't you. Why can't you tell us what's going on?"

"Because nothings going on!" Usagi insisted. Her friends looked at her unconvinced. Ami grabbed a tissue from a box by Rei's bed and handed it to Usagi.

"You're crying," she said. Usagi swiped a hand at her face and found to her surprise that she was. She snatched the tissue from Ami and dabbed her eyes.

"What's the matter with me?" she groaned miserably. "I've been doing so well with not crying, too."

"Well maybe you need to cry," Minako suggested. "Why are you holding it in? That's not like you."

"I don't _want_ to cry about it," Usagi said, burying her face in her hands. "I want to move on and be ok. I'm so sick of being a cry baby." Usagi couldn't hold back any more and she broke down into body shaking sobs. Her friends sat with her, holding her hands, stroking her hair and wiping her tears away. No one said anything for about ten minutes until her crying started to die down.

"What happened?" Rei asked when it seemed like Usagi had calmed down enough to answer. Usagi shrugged resignedly.

"I found out why Mamoru broke up with me, and it pissed me off," she explained. Her friends exchanged confused glances and looked at her expectantly. Usagi sighed and explained the whole thing to them; the dream, the picture, their last confrontation.

"He's been calling me pretty much every day since then, but I just can't talk to him," Usagi said. "You guys, I'm so mad at him. I'm furious with him and I feel like I got slapped in the face. And not a Rhett Butler slap either. It's more like an Ike Turner slap." Her friends giggled uncertainly at her joke. Usagi chuckled and dabbed her face with a tissue. "Man, I must look horrible right now."

"No you don't," Makoto assured her. Usagi favored her with a dead pan gaze, but Makoto shrugged . "I mean sure, your eyes are red, but you are probably the only person I know who's face doesn't get all puffy when they cry."

"Hey, she's right!" Minako said with mock indignation. "That's so completely not fair!" Usagi giggled, sniffling a bit.

"There's that smile we've been missing," Ami said. Usagi smiled a bit wider and then let it slip.

"I still don't feel like there's that much to smile about," she admitted. She frowned and pulled her knees into her chest. She closed her eyes and put her head down. "I still love him." Silence settled on the room and the girls tried to figure out how to respond to that. Everyone's eyes went to Minako.

"_What? I don't know what to say!" _she mouthed to them. Rei rolled her eyes and mouthed back.

"_This is _your_ area of expertise, _Venus_!_" Minako shook a fist at Rei and put a hand on Usagi's shoulder.

"If you still love him, why won't you talk to him?" she asked Usagi. Usagi lifted her head and sighed.

"I don't trust him. I don't know if he's really in love with me or if he just gave it a shot because of something that's ancient history. I _do_ know that he doesn't see me as someone who's equal to him…and I know that if I speak to him, he'll apologize and I'll forgive him, and I won't bring it up again. I'm afraid to let him that close again." Usagi gazed off into space and frowned contemplatively. Her friends weren't sure if she realized they were there anymore. "What if… what if I do go back to him and he does something like this again. If I forgive him this time, what'll I do if he does it again? I don't want to be a doormat. I don't want him to take me for granted, but if I stay, I'll let him. But what if I don't go back to him? What if he's it for me and I just never give it another shot? I won't find anyone else. I don't think I'll ever love anyone as much as him. That scares the crap out of me."

The room fell silent again and Usagi's friends processed what she told them. Looking at their princess, they couldn't imagine another man- hordes of men in fact- not falling for her. Even now with her eyes and nose red from crying, she was still very pretty. But, they realized, that didn't matter if she already gave her heart to Mamoru. Makoto's face darkened dangerously and the general sentiment of the other girls mirrored hers. If they thought that Usagi would allow it, her friends would have cheerfully used him for target practice. Minako looked around at the angry faces of her friends and sighed. Once again, it was up to her to be the sensible one.

"Usagi," she took a deep breath before she offered the one piece of advice she really didn't want to give. "Usagi, I think you should talk to him." Usagi looked a Minako and frowned slightly. Minako continued before Usagi could say anything else. "I think Mamoru is a huge moron for putting you through this, and please believe me when I say that you could do much, _much_ better. Like a lot better. But you love Mamoru, and I believe he loves you too. And even though I think you could do a lot better than him, you could do worse than a guy who's willing to go through so much to protect you." Ami, Rei, and Makoto begrudgingly voiced their agreement. Usagi didn't say anything for a while. Then she stood up and grabbed her purse.

"I've got to go," she told them. "Mom's waiting for me to paint my room." This time no one stopped her as she left the room, her mind both in less and in more turmoil than when she arrived.

-:- -:- -:- -:- -:-

Usagi and her mother painted in silence, Usagi's hand moving the brush listlessly. The cotton candy pink of her walls was slowly disappearing beneath a layer of cream and Ikuko considered the symbolism ruefully. Her little girl was growing up and she found herself watching Usagi out of the corner of her eye. Who was this lovely woman child who had taken the place of her baby girl? Something was bothering Usagi, Ikuko could tell, but she wasn't sure what it was.

"This is a beautiful color," Ikuko commented. Usagi hummed in agreement and kept painting. "I'm a little sad to see the pink go, though. It's like closing a chapter and my baby girl is gone forever." Usagi laughed a little and rolled her eyes.

"Mom, I love how you manage to be cheesy and over-dramatic and sentimental at the same time. You've been watching too many Lifetime movies" Ikuko poked Usagi in the ribs.

"Where do you think _you_ get it from?" Usagi smiled, a little sadly Ikuko thought. She frowned as she watched Usagi's profile. She hated the feeling that she didn't know her own daughter anymore. Usagi had become a stranger to her.

"Usagi, remember when you were younger and you would help me in the kitchen or curl up in my lap while I was reading?"

"Yeah…?" Usagi looked at her mother confused, and slightly suspicious. "Why?" Ikuko sighed wistfully.

"Well I was just thinking of how much I miss those days. We don't get much time together any more. I miss you." Usagi tossed her paint brush back onto the paint tray, splashing cream paint on the plastic drop cloth. She threw her arms around her mother and kissed her cheek.

"I'll always love you, Mom. No matter what," she promised. Ikuko smiled and blinked back her tears. She rested her cheek on top of Usagi's head and patted her arm.

"And I'll always be here for you," Ikuko told her. "Now, about this boy that keeps calling…"  
"Aw, Mom!" Usagi huffed and pulled away.

"Don't worry, I'm not going to make you spill all," Ikuko said, rolling her eyes. "All I'm going to say is that he sounds very genuinely sorry for whatever it is that he's done. I think you should talk to him…but, it's ok to make him sweat a little." Usagi stared at her mother for a moment, before bursting into giggles.

"Mom, I _love_ you!"

"Just don't keep him dangling _too_ long." Ikuko reached over and tugged at Usagi's hair. "And I _do_ want to hear about it. When you're ready, no pressure." The phone rang and Ikuko grinned. "I bet that's him." Usagi picked up her extension and sat down on the bed.

"Hello?" she answered hesitantly. There was a slight, almost inaudible gasp on the other end and a pause.

"Usako?" Usagi flinched slightly, hearing the familiar nickname.

"Yeah?" She kept her voice flat, not giving a hint of the emotional turmoil that just hearing Mamoru's voice stirred up.

"Usako, please, I just want to talk to you. If you'd just let me explain, I…"

"Not now," Usagi said. "Meet me at the park in twenty minutes."

"Alright," Mamoru said, sighing in relief. "Usagi, I lo…"

"Good-bye, Mamoru," Usagi cut him off and hung up before he could say anything else. Her heart was thudding in her chest. She took a deep breath before looking up at her mother. Ikuko smiled slightly and she motioned for Usagi to leave with a wave of her hand.

"Go on," she told her daughter. "I can finish up here."

"Thanks, Mom." Usagi kissed her mother's cheek and ran out of the door.

"Go get him, sweetie," Ikuko whispered.

-:- -:- -:- -:- -:-

Mamoru arrived slightly out of breath to the park. Usagi hadn't said where in the park they were meeting, but he had a pretty good idea. He jogged through the park until he came to the pier overlooking the lake that he and Usagi had spent many afternoons rowing on. Just as he thought, she was there, looking out over the water, her feet dangling off of the edge of the pier. Her jeans were rolled up to the knees and her sneakers and socks were next to her. Mamoru came up and sat down beside her. Usagi glanced at him and turned back to the lake, her bare feet churning the water below her. They sat together in silence for a few minutes. Usagi watched the sunset and Mamoru watched her out of the corner of his eyes. There was paint spattered all over her clothes and a few smears on her face. She was wearing a Hokkaido University t shirt that was several sizes too big for her and her hair was out of its usual style and pulled back into a messy French braid. Mamoru thought that there couldn't possibly be another woman on the planet as beautiful as she was at that moment. She glanced at him again and finally spoke.

"I'm mad at you, Mamoru." Mamoru froze for a second, and then sighed.

"I know." Usagi snapped her head around and glared at him.

"No, you _don't_ know. Mamoru, I'm _beyond_ mad at you. I'm furious. For the past two weeks, I've been trying to get past that and move on. I don't want to be angry with you anymore. I don't know if I want to feel _anything_ for you anymore." Mamoru felt his heart clench in his chest. Usagi wanted to end their relationship for good? He couldn't lose her. He had broken up with her before, but it hadn't sunk in as something permanent, despite what he told Usagi. At that point, Mamoru had the comfort of knowing that Usagi would take him back if-when- he couldn't stay away anymore.

"Usako, please," he begged. "I only did it to protect you. I tried to ignore the dreams, but they were just so real. And when the picture…"

"You were protecting me," Usagi scoffed and shook her head. "How is it protecting me to dump me out of no where, with no explanations other than you didn't want to be trapped in a relationship because of something that happened a long time ago? How on earth do you figure it's protecting me to practically break my self confidence- which was barely hanging on by the way- and leaving me to think there was something _I_ did wrong?" Mamoru reached out for Usagi's hand, but she pulled away.

"Usako, I…"

"No, I'm not done, Mamoru! Ever since we started going out, everything has been your decision. _You_ decided to give this relationship a shot. _You _decided what boundaries we would have. _You _decided it wasn't time to meet my parents. Good grief Mamoru, _you _decided where we would go on most of our dates. And moron that I was, I let you, because I was so in love with you that I forgot that I had rights in this relationship, too. _I_ was your _girlfriend_, Mamoru. I'm a flesh and blood, thinking, feeling person. I'm _not_ a porcelain doll that needs to be protected from every bump and scrape. Tell me why you didn't trust me enough to tell me about the stupid dream?"

In his entire life, Mamoru could remember feeling this frantic only a handful of times in his life. All of them had been when Usagi had been in mortal danger. He knew he had no answer good enough for her. Why had he chosen to listen to that dream blindly? Why hadn't he talked to Usagi about it before?

"Usako, I…the dream said to stay away from you. I thought it would be easier if I just stayed away from you." Usagi rolled her eyes and pulled her legs up to her chest.

"So you thought that I was so completely obsessed with you that I wouldn't be able to stay away from you if it were a matter of my life _and_ the safety of the world? Come on, Mamoru, I may not be as mature at Ami and Rei and Makoto and Minako- heck, I may not be as mature as some other girls you may have dated, but _please_ give me a _little_ credit." Mamoru looked down at the water and stared at the ripples Usagi's toes made thoughtfully.

"Would you believe," he said after a moment, "that you are the only girlfriend I've ever had?" Usagi froze, one foot halfway out of the water. She turned, her eyes widened in surprise.

"_Really_?" she asked incredulously. Mamoru hunched his shoulders a bit sheepishly.

"Is it really that surprising?" Usagi blinked a few times and nodded. She turned away from him and looked out over the lake. The sun had nearly disappeared over the horizon.

"Wow, I guess I never thought of that," Usagi said. "You always had some girl or another hanging around and you're a junior in high school. I just always assumed that you had a girlfriend." Mamoru shook his head.

"Nope." Usagi frowned and looked out on the water thoughtfully.

"I guess I can understand, then, why you act the way you do," she said after a moment. "And I guess some of this is my fault, too. I should have told you sooner how I felt." Usagi pulled her feet out of the water and pulled her knees to her chest.

"I think, maybe both of us should have done more talking," Mamoru acknowledged, looking down at Usagi. She was chewing on her thumbnail and looking out over the water still. She nodded absently, and murmured her agreement.

"I still don't know what to do," Usagi admitted. "I thought I had all my feeling sorted out before I told you to meet me here…Mamoru, I still don't know if I can trust you." Mamoru flinched again, but let her talk. "I don't know. Maybe…maybe we rushed this whole thing? We never talked about…what happened in the past...what we remember of it anyway. And honestly, I had liked you for so long by that point that I didn't really care about it. I didn't care whether or not you were with me because of it. But we should have, right? Talked, I mean. Even if we don't remember everything that happened between us then, it's still important, right?" Usagi looked over at Mamoru and tugged at her hair agitatedly. "I have to know if you're with me because of me or because of Serenity. I…I don't want you under those terms. I don't want you to feel like you _have_ to be with me because of our ancient history." Usagi turned and looked Mamoru in his eyes. "I need you to tell me the truth, Mamoru. Did you get involved with me because I'm Princess Serenity?"

Now Mamoru got mad. After everything they had been through, how could Usagi even _begin_ to think that? He almost said as much to her, but a voice in his head told him to stop and think. Usagi was right, he realized thinking back. If he was honest with himself, he _knew_ he was doing something wrong in their relationship. If he-no if _they_ were going to fix this, now was the time. Mamoru met Usagi's gaze levelly. He could see the fear and determination in her eyes, almost like when she went into battle.

"Usagi," he said after a few moments. "I must have been a horrible boyfriend if you could even for a second believe that I don't love you." Usagi looked up at him, and then looked away.

"Not horrible," Usagi told him. "I mean, I always knew you cared…it's just…I don't know. I sometimes got the feeling that you didn't really want me around and when you broke up with me…" Usagi shook her head, cursing the tears welling up in her eyes again. "I was always so afraid that you'd leave me when you realized that I'm not this perfect, sophisticated princess, that when it actually happened, I wasn't surprised." Mamoru reached over and took Usagi's hand in his. He was afraid to do much else.

"I have to admit," he said hesitantly. "I did take advantage of the fact that we were together during the Silver Millennium." Mamoru could feel Usagi tense up, and she looked away, but she left her hand where it was.

"I was happy when I found out that we were Serenity and Endymion because I didn't think I had a shot with you otherwise." Usagi looked up at Mamoru uncertainly, but she froze when she saw the sincerity in his eyes. "I'm not good at expressing myself. I never really had to. But when I met you, you were this…I don't know…bright, cheerful, force of nature. Like a typhoon."

"A typhoon? Really?" Usagi favored Mamoru with a deadpan gaze, but the corners of her mouth twitched upward. Mamoru grinned outright.

"I don't know how else to describe what you did to my life," he said, shrugging. "You threw me for such a loop and I knew I wanted you in my life, but I didn't know how to approach you. So I picked fights with you to get you to talk to me."

"That's so elementary school, Don Juan." Usagi rolled her eyes and allowed a smile to cross her face.

"Yeah, well, that's all I knew to do. Besides, you're cute when you're mad." Mamoru's mouth went up into an amused smirk. Then he got serious again. "I wanted to ask you out for the longest time, but I really didn't think you liked me. When I found out that you were Sailor Moon and the princess that I had been seeing in my dreams, I was so…relieved."

"Relieved?" Usagi scrunched up her nose in confusion. Mamoru chuckled and shrugged.

"Well first of all, it made sense of the fact that I was attracted to you _and_ Sailor Moon. And it meant that I had a reason finally had a good reason to ask you out. I guess that's why I never thought to talk to you about it." Mamoru looked down at their intertwined hands. Usagi turned her palm up and locked her fingers with his.

"Boy are we a couple of morons," she said laughing a little. Mamou looked up at her and realized that she was crying silently. He let go of Usagi's hand and wiped the tears off of her face. Usagi leaned in to his hand.

"So what now?" he asked. Usagi blinked a couple of times.

"Hm?"

"What do we do now?" Mamoru asked again. "Do you forgive me?" Usagi turned back towards the lake blushing, and watched the last rays of the sun sink behind the Tokyo skyline.

"I willing to try again if you are," she told him. She looked over at him a little uncertainly. Mamoru stared at her for a moment, then smiled as he leaned in to kiss her. Usagi pulled back with a dazed grin.

"Is that a yes?" she asked.

"Absolutely," Mamoru said before kissing her again.

_My biggest problem with this season was the fact that Mamoru decided to break up with Usagi without giving her a reason. As much as I love the dude, I would have had a lot more to say about it than Usagi did. That was the inspiration for this story. I've been working on this for months, and I guess it's time to post it. I'm toying with the idea of writing a piece about their reaction to finding out Endymion was behind the dream, but we'll see. Tell me what you think! And keep watching for the next chapter in _Looking for You.

_Deuces,_

_Ladyhawk_


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